It’s all good. Really?
I really disliked when that saying was adopted by like, everyone, everywhere. I also really disliked the ‘Life is Good’ slogan that came out with the hats and shirts and outdoor gear. I was a Colorado girl for a long, long time, and I used to walk around Pearl St. in Boulder and see all these people with that saying plastered all over themselves and inside I would cringe. Clearly, there was work for me there. Here is a bit of it...
The other day my daughter said to me, “if something sounds good and I want it, then it is good for me, and if I don’t want it or it doesn’t sound good, then it's not good for me.” She’s 7. And she was talking about food. I had so many responses I almost wasn’t sure where to begin and what to say, but I’ve been processing it for a bit and more and more pieces are coming together around it.
I think my initial response was to tell her that in so many ways that is true, and that we must always be guided by our joy and what feels good to us, and to feel into those options and see where they lead us. AND I also know that there are times when we may want something that we think will feel good, but actually isn’t good for us. And yes, I actually gave her an example of me and wine. That’s another story.
But I’ve been thinking about how if the world were a truly harmonic and awakened place and if we were taught from within the womb to honor our desires, to know ourselves so fully and wholly then maybe it would be true that our desires always lead us to what is good for us. And in some ways, this is always true, even now, because if there is something we want and we do whatever it takes to create it, we will be following our path towards even greater amounts of love and growth for ourselves.
But, it may not always feel good. In fact, it’s certain to not always feel good. Because growth doesn’t always feel good. Ask a butterfly, they will tell you.
So, why are we so into feeling good all the time? Or maybe a better question is, why are we so afraid of not feeling good? I think the answer is because we have been taught, imprinted upon, that if we don’t feel good something is wrong. With us, with who we are, with our behavior, with our being. And my goodness, that is just not true. But so much of how we operate in the world has this message running through it.
I want to live in a world where our children know that feeling is feeling, and it’s all ok. That no feelings make it so something is wrong. That we are responsible for our feelings and our actions when we are feeling, but that feeling things isn’t anything to be afraid of. Especially feelings that don’t feel good.
Feelings are information. Feelings have gifts and messages. Feelings help us learn about ourselves. The full spectrum of feelings are ours as humans to experience the fullness of life, a feeling is simply the acknowledgement that we are alive, awake, aware, connected and present to ourselves and to others.
When you don’t feel good, you are not broken, you are not wrong, you are not a problem, you are not empty, or bad, or mistaken, or on the wrong path, or not enough, or unlovable. You are simply healing. You are processing. You are changing. You are growing. You are learning. There is an expression of life you are working on receiving in a new way.
There's this idea that if you aren’t feeling good then you're not in alignment and in many ways it’s true. When we are in alignment, doors open with ease, there is a flow and an expansiveness that permeates and there is endless amounts of energy to do and be.
And there are also those growing edges where we know we are resisting what we are creating and we need to slough off the old ways of being. And that can feel not good. And it can stop us. And it's not supposed to.
What most of us seem to forget over and over again is that when we are growing something must change, something must die, in order for something new to be born. And that death can feel - not good. It’s death, it’s an ending.
And when we are moving into new ways, the old ways that can’t live in that new vibration will get loud so they can be cleaned. They come UP and OUT. They surface to be seen and witnessed and blessed and let go of. And that doesn’t always feel good, in fact it may feel scary, overwhelming, wobbly, uncertain, unexpected, debilitating, or totally out of the norm.
But if we are able to discern the difference between growth and resistance to growth or simply off track, and if we are aware of when we are in those edges, then we can wrap our loving arms around our own sweet hearts and let our spirits guide the way, in peace, knowing that we are good, even we don’t feel good.
The root of it is this: We are good. When we feel good, and when we don’t feel good. When we choose what feels good and when we choose what doesn’t feel good. And when we choose what feels good and it causes us to not feel good, we are still good, because we are always on our path of healing and growth.
It’s good. We are good. Life is good.